There are situations when at the right moment, even in the absence of pathologies, a man cannot get aroused. As a result, there is no erection, sex did not take place, the woman is unhappy. Stress, work that requires mental or physical stress and concentration leaves a negative imprint. There are several ways a man can get aroused if there is no mood for sex, but the need for it is present.
Male arousal mechanisms
Sexual arousal is a product of the activation of a complex reflex system involving the nervous system and genitals. The body collects signals from the external environment and, by means of impulses, sends them to the brain and spinal cord, which already gives the command to the genitals.
By nature, men have three ways of sexual arousal:
- Visual. The expression that a man loves with his eyes is about that. Thoughts about sex are most often triggered by visual imagery. Pornographic videos and photos are invariably the most effective method of arousal.
- Physical(from stimulation of the penis or erogenous zones). A man may not think about sex at all and not want it, but the penis will respond with an erection to touch, bypassing consciousness. Oral sex excites a healthy man almost always. The exception is made by persons who categorically reject such games on a subconscious level.
- From your own touches. A large number of nerve endings are concentrated at the tips of men's fingers, through which impulses are transmitted to the brain, which forms sexual arousal. Even if there is no mood for sex, then when stroking a woman's breasts or genitals, it automatically appears.
For many men, arousal occurs under the influence of certain factors (fetish). These may include: clothes (nurse's robe, stewardess uniform), smells, tone of voice, gait, gestures. Even if the woman as a whole is not in the man's taste, but something about her is the subject of a fetish, sexual arousal will arise.
During foreplay, you can use all of the above possibilities. The more open a man is, the easier it will be for a woman to get him excited.
What affects arousal
The degree of arousal depends on several factors:
- Age. This factor is not as important as the first, but it also affects the frequency and process of sexual arousal. Young men have the highest need for sex, they get excited easily: from one glance, touch, just the presence of an object of desire nearby. New sensations excite the imagination. After 35 years, libido gradually declines, however, it all depends on the sexual constitution.
- Sexual (sexual) constitution. There are three types: weak, medium and strong. In the first case, a man (even if he is young) only needs one sexual intercourse every 2 weeks. A strong constitution requires frequent intimate contact, 1-2 daily. The coincidence of sexual temperaments plays a huge role in family relationships.
- Hormonal background. Low testosterone levels mean sluggish libido. Such men are often infantile, overly withdrawn. They are reluctant to meet women, do not seek sexual relations.
- Mental health, character. Some men are held hostage to the psychological or physical sexual trauma of childhood for life. This interferes with liberation. The brain automatically seeks out factors that suppress sexual arousal (the appearance of female genitals, the constraint of one's own body, the expectation of failure).
The above circumstances often do not lend themselves to correction. You can work with a psychologist, take hormonal drugs, but the situation will not change dramatically, problems with natural arousal remain.
How to achieve the result
It is possible to achieve sexual arousal and increase its degree (provided that the man is healthy) using external factors. Sometimes a man himself does not know what circumstances can set him up for intimacy, so there is no need to be afraid to go beyond the classics of sexual relations.
A woman can both inspire a man for sexual exploits, and deprive him of all desire. For this, sometimes one word is enough, which will emphasize the dignity (even if it will be to some extent flattery) or impose a serious complex.
A man subconsciously chooses a woman who suits his temperament. That is why sexologists recommend not to rush into intimate contact, but first to devote enough time to communication, studying the nature of a potential partner. Some men like modest and delicate women, others like rude and dominant women. A mistake in choosing will inevitably lead to frustration and a decrease in arousal during sex.
Visual factors play a dominant role in a man's sexual arousal. Stockings, belts, sexy lingerie, clothes for role-playing games - all this, with the right selection, increases the desire at times. It is important to convey to the woman what exactly attracts (which porn videos are the most exciting) and try to translate fantasies into reality. Otherwise, the surprise may have the opposite effect: the "nurse" will look comical, instead of sex - a woman's resentment.
Role-playing costumes are an opportunity to diversify your sexual intimate life. With a little imagination, a man can go crazy with stockings on which an arrow is erotically visible.
In modern conditions, getting exciting attributes is not difficult, the question is in the price. It is enough to enter a query in a search engine and it will display a whole list of resources where you can anonymously purchase any sex toys, fetish items, clothes and accessories.
Some women are embarrassed by the peculiarities of their bodies, they are pinched, they do not accept positions that excite a man, which confuses him and his sexual mood. In this regard, sex therapists argue that appearance is important, but not always the determining factor. If a man does not make claims, then there is no need to come up with complexes and thereby spoil sexual relations.
Many men are turned on by the “voice guidance” during foreplay and intercourse. Sighs, groans, aspirated whispers, even screams - these factors on a subconscious level make it clear to a man that he gives pleasure to a woman. This spurs on further actions, to some extent flatters pride, stimulates sexual arousal.
However, everything is individual here. Some men don't like noisy women. The reason may be, for example, in the reaction of neighbors, rejection of the partner's voice. Someone is embarrassed by too quiet women - there is no reaction by which one can understand whether she likes what is happening or just tolerates it out of politeness. Such reflections are not conducive to increasing arousal.
The human body exudes invisible substances-pheromones (each has their own), which penetrate into the partner's body and cause a certain unconscious reaction in it. Sexual harmony is acceptance of each other on a biochemical level: enjoying the natural smell of the body, hair, even sweat (fresh).
There are smells that repel everyone (stale breath, unwashed body, harsh cheap perfume). Subsequently, even if the woman smells perfect, the negative perception fixed in the subconscious will remain and will interfere with sexual arousal.
What you can try to increase a man's sexual desire:
- Aphrodisiac perfume with pheromones (although many women and men on the forums say that this is nonsense).
- Perfume with vanilla, patchouli, nutmeg, ylang-ylang, bergamot scent.
- Essential oils with the above scents. You should not pour them into an aroma lamp, since the concentration will become too strong (instead of sexual arousal - sore throat, dryness in the nasopharynx or allergies). The best option is to drip on the wrist or smear a little behind the ear.
Smells from kitchen and animals do not stimulate excitement. You can purchase a special aphrodisiac spray for laundry and air spraying.
Various types of stimulants can be purchased in pharmacies and on Internet resources: drops, sprays, lubricants, tablets. As for the latter, many mistakenly believe that a popular pill or other drug from the series of PDE-5 inhibitors (enzyme) will help them quickly get aroused. Such pills work only when sexual desire has already arisen. Their task is to expand the vessels of the penis and fill them with blood (keep an erection longer). This is impossible without substances that are released precisely at moments of sexual arousal. Therefore, it is not worth purchasing expensive or cheap drugs of this class for the purpose of stimulating libido.
Exciting lubricants are another matter. They warm, stimulate blood flow, increase the sensitivity of the receptors of the head of the penis. The best option is if a woman applies a little on her hand and does an erotic massage.
Chinese dietary supplements (balls, pills) are questionable. The same stimulating effect can be achieved by drinking a little tincture of ginseng or eleutherococcus.
Some men try to prepare pathogens on their own at home. Various warming ointments are taken as a basis, however, even in a micro dose, they can cause a burn of the head of the penis.
Erogenous zones, massage
Both men and women have special sensitive spots - erogenous zones. It's not about the genitals. Where are the points on a man's body for arousal, even he himself does not always know. For some, these are the nipples, for others - the earlobes, and some are instantly aroused when they touch the inner thigh or buttocks.
Such areas can be discovered by accident. Thus, a completely innocent massage often becomes a prelude to sex - a woman runs her hands over certain points, presses on them, and a man suddenly feels signs of arousal instead of relaxation.
Erotic massage with or without special lubricants helps to get aroused. Stroking and gently kneading the testicles, penis and inner thighs not only causes an erection, but also helps to eliminate stagnant processes. Some men experience the brightest orgasms during prostate massage, which can be performed both rectally and through the skin of the perineum (between the scrotum and anus).
With these techniques, you can regain arousal and cause an erection again after the first time for a second intercourse. It should be noted that each man has his own length of the recovery period between sex. Up to 27 years of age, the ability to re-excitement is high, for some, 20 minutes is enough. But as he grows up, a man needs at least half an hour on average for at least a relative recovery.
Although a man can only get aroused by touch, the mental attitude is also important. The appropriate mood will provide not just mechanical sex, but a pleasurable process, culminating in a vivid orgasm (which is very beneficial for the prostate).
Every man has a kind of "porn archive" in his memory, which contains the most impressive explicit videos and images. This should be used for the mood for sex.
Lists of aphrodisiac products on topical resources often disappoint men and women with their lack of effect. They increase excitement only with regular use and provided they are of good quality (not everyone can often eat oysters for dinner).
Foods and drinks that stimulate blood flow indirectly help to enhance the sexual mood:
- Warm cognac with honey.
- Celery, parsley.
In some men, an involuntary "riser" occurs some time after eating quail eggs, sour cream, nuts - an individual reaction.
Sexual arousal at the beginning of a relationship is achieved easily and quickly, and with a long relationship, efforts will already be required, and on the part of both partners. This has its advantages - if trust reigns in a couple, then a man and a woman know each other's erogenous zones and fantasies well, which helps to achieve arousal. If libido persistently decreases, then you should consult a doctor to rule out diseases. It can be prostatitis, endocrine disorders, without treatment of which it will not be possible to return the previous level of sexual arousal.